maggie54

12th Entry

2008-04-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know the paper should be pretty much outlined now and I should start writing but I need to keep blogging and figure out what I am going to write. I completely ignored half the prompt while sketching but i think and hope I can figure it out in this post.
Going through the prompt, the desire for acceptance drives human beings, it is that we want to be accepted for our true selves what we consider our perfections and flaws to be accepted, this quote I found in the book the power of empathy says, "By acceptance I mean a warm regard for him as a person of unconditional self worth- of value no matter what his condition, his behaivor, or his feelings. It means a respect and liking for him as a sepreate person, a willingness for him to possess his own feelings in his own way. It means an acceptance of and regard of his own feelings and attitude of the moment, no matter how negative or postive, no matter how much they may contradict other attitudes he has held in the oast. This acceptance of each fluttering aspect of this other person make it for him a relationship of warmth and safety, and safety of being liked and prized as a person seens a highly important element in a helping relationship" (179). I believe that since human beings crave acceptance, have an inherent desire to push for acceptance, and this desire often times overcomes us and creates a hesitance inside of human beings to help others in their quest for acceptance. So in this case I don't think human beings are born innocent, I also don't think we are born evil but I think there is this hesitance/fear we are born with that a formal civilization has to tame. In the JFK Jr. example in my last post, his mother, Jacqueline Kennedy, serves as a formalizied civilization where she is a source of acceptance that others to diminish. Our civilization needs to try to abolish this fear of accepting others because it could affect our own acceptance we crave. It doesn't make sense that we are hesitant to accept others, with it being such a factor in human nature, but that why a formal civilization is needed to tame this factor and help human beings in their quest for acceptance. I think that people's natural hesitance varies in effect, which is good. Civilization needs to send a feeling/message to the people within that it is okay to be yourself, be different and break the barriers of the norm, and still be accepted by others. Civilization needs to make areas where everyone has a opportunity to be accepted. I am going to keep thinking about this civilization stuff and hopefully start my rough draft.

11th Entry

2008-04-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I went to the library once again today and was reading the book The Power Of Empathy by Arthur P. Ciaramicoli and Katherine Ketcham while I was babysitting and looked up acceptance in the back of the book and found a story of JFK that relates to my point so here's the passage:
Okay their telling a story of JFK after his death about his childhood:
"Many years ago o a ski slope, John Jr. was crying. His uncle Bobby came up to th boy, put an arm around his shoulder and said, 'Kennedy's don't cry.'
John lookd up at his uncle and said, simply, 'This Kennedy cries.'
With insight and wisdow far beyond his years, a young boy speaks to the truth of who he is. I am not like everyone else, he announces to the world. I am unique, my own person, my own individual self. Even in my weakness-no, especially in my weakness-I accept myself for who I am.
There is a poignant epilogue to the story. Hearing her son's words, Jackie Kennedy smiled proudly and offered him a hug, an affirming gesture that goes a long way explaining why John F. Kennedy Jr., was so accepting of himself. Encouraged by his mother to be himself, he was able to find courage to stand up for himself and defy other people's expectations of his behaivor. In the safe surrond of his mother's empathy, he was given the opportunity to become himself... Only when we have accepted ourselves with all our "good" and "bad" parts can we learn how to accept others with all their strengths and weaknesses" (179).
-Wow, that passage hit practically every single point in my thesis, I am going to use this somehow as my evidence.

10th Entry

2008-04-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

I got some books from the book about Philsophy and here's some of the things I read about:

"Good company is beneficial to humans, too. Hearing a familair voice, we smile easily and feel secure. People who suffer from loneliness or don't get along with others will have a hard time experiencing positive feelings. Friendships and family warmth are like a loamy soil in which happiness thrives.
'If you take friendship out of the life, you take the sun out of the world," said the Roman statesman Cicero'" (Klein 151).

The Dalai Llama Article:
-"The tendency to closely bond with others, acting for the welfare of others as well as oneself, may be deeply rooted in human nature, forged in the remote past as those who bonded together and became part of a group had an increased chance of survivial. This need to form close social ties persists up to the present day" (59).

Well I started working on my outline and got caught up in that, so this is not going to be a long post. My thinking right now is that people have a natural tendency to subject other to misacceptance due to their own urgent desire for acceptance.

9th Entry

2008-04-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

Ok I really need to come up with a question to a response I've already formed or some sort of new idea. My main points I have reached through blogging is that acceptance is what drives human beings, the need to be accepted for our true selves (to have someone love our flaws just as much as our "perfections") to be completely understood by someone other than ourselves and still be accepted by them, that is the ideal everyone is searching for, but we make it difficult for others and with that nature we make it difficult for ourselves to find and achieve the acceptance we thrive for. The acceptance we thrive for can come in many different ways, but the most popularizied is popular that of love. But even with our drive for acceptance and acknowledgement of our need for acceptance shown to us throughout life with personal experience and experience from others, we make it difficult for others to find acceptance, let them into our lives and give them acceptance. So I guess my ultimate question is Why do we make it so difficult for others to achieve acceptance, and with this in our nature it ultimaetely makes it difficult for otherselves to achieve acceptance? I keep making the same points so I am going to list them instead of making a big long paragraph like I have been doing:
-Human's feel insecure with their standing with such a strong desire for acceptance, and if it is reached there is hesitance to go out of their way and risk their standing with acceptance it will be difficult to help someone else in their quest for acceptance
-When there is someone else a person can help with acceptance, it gives reassurance that they are not the worst off and their is someone lower than them, this makes a human feel superior and in charge of life which often is difficult
-It is difficult to step down from a superior position and move to an inferior position to help another
-I am not making these points as a generialization in every situation, but there are natural thoughts in everyone's minds of fear of being misaccepted or outcasted for helping another in their quest for acceptance
-Okay so my main point is that there is an inherent desire for acceptance engrained in every human being, which creates a hesitance to help others in their quest for acceptance
I don't think it is a selfish way of people, but I think it is out of fear. Fear of their need being demolished, which I don't think it is selfish, it could be considered selfish by some but that isn't what I am arguing, but there is a fear/hesitance installed in human beings with the desire of acceptance, they correlate (arguement point thing we used today) in that with such a strong desire the fear of not fufilling this desire stalls our compassion for others in their quest for acceptance. so since the desire is so strong with it being so difficult to achieve we make it difficult for others to achieve acceptance to, it is like a never-ending cycle that is hard to break.

8th Entry

2008-04-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

Many different forms of acceptance are apparent, but the one I generally focus on is from human acceptance. I hust have this strong feeling from the pain I have experienced, and the pain others have had around me due to feelings of loneliness. The tears cried from lack of acceptance, the loneliness contrived from not being accepted. I know it seems like a girl thing, the major part of high school for teenage girls but everyone experiences this, people of all age, gender, and back ground. There is still a longing for adults for acceptance and compainionship. Compainionship and acceptance go hand in hand, acceptance can be achieved through compainionship. You wonder why all those older women read those trashy romance novels, or the ones about the trials of friendship or sisterhood. I mean I've read the back covers of some of my mom's novels and definetely see a reoccuring theme. Then there are those romance novels for teens that makes billions of dollars, definetely not by coincidence or chance. These writers tap into this drive of human nature that we cannot ignore. There is a demand for novels with the drive for human nature fufilled, an ideal or fantasy fulfilled is what human beings want to read because it coincides to real life. Humans are driven by the ideal of acceptance, but then I find myself questioning this once again. If acceptance is so important to human beings, why do human beings make it so difficult for others to find some form of acceptance? I still find myself asking why, why do we want something so bad and we know how bad we want it (the longing we have for it) but often times we make it difficult for others to reach it. There are a select few in the world that hlp others, but you can never avoid the thoughts in your head saying what a loser or I'm glad I'm not them. Maybe what someone like Mother Theresea doesn't have those exact thoughts, but she must have had at least one similair thought in her whole entire life. You can't escape those thoughts, which makes it a natural inclination. But why is it a natural inclination, why do we do this to others. Human beings are social by nature, and thrive for human interaction but I think it makes someone feel superior in that the fact that they are inferior (that there is someone less than us in comparison). The struggle we have to endure when searching for acceptance leaves us with feelings we can't ignore. The scars are definetely deep within us, never going to disappear and leave us the way we were before we experienced from lack of acceptance. I'm trying to search for those perfect words to explain why we make it so difficult for others in our and their quest for acceptance, but I think I'm almost there, just more thinking and blogging will help me with my thesis.

7th Entry

2008-04-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

Thinking about Lord of the Flies; it seems like there are a lot of examples of desire of acceptance (like every person wanted to on the strong side filled with acceptance):
-Samneric: perfect examples of acceptance (the combination of their names; one of them for the other that they can easily identify with; never feel alone (no sense of individuality; conform to the side that offers acceptance)) They are two boys that found their ideal form of acceptance in another, and then how they are practically bought into joining the Jack's tribe with little hesitance shows the nature of human beings in allowing them to go down the path of easier acceptance that society would frown upon.
I like gasped when I started thinking about Samneric, I couldn't demonstrate a better example of a person with acceptance, a person that latches onto other and becomes so close that they never have to worry about not being accepted. I mean they only have one name, it's like Golding made it physically impossible for one of them to be identified, and then they enter Jack's tribe after being a part of Ralph's. They give Ralph advice but they don't actually help him with acceptance, stand up to the rest of the crowd that doesn't accept Ralph. Human nature of making it difficult for others to become accepted after being accepted and sitting in a comfortable place. It's weird because I wasn't really thinking about Lord of the Flies, and when I did I was thinking more of Piggy or Simon (even Ralph and Jack) and all the others, but then the idea of Samneric fell on my lap and I can point out all my main points in their actions throughout the novel. I just need to find some more philosophy to back up my point.

"She Like's Me For Me" Entry

2008-04-20T12:18:00.001-07:00

I feel in love with the lyrics of these songs, when he says "what she sees/are my most rending desisions/my insecure conditions/and the tears upon the pillow that i shed," I just flipped. The conditions we try to hide from people like him being indecisive, insecure, and a cryer are just so restraining sometimes. But then acceptance comes into play when he says that she sees this but still likes him, the fact that she likes him for him (with emphasis) just perfects my feeling that humans strive for acceptance for themselves, for their perfections and imperfections. That they are loved for what they view as their bad qualities as much as their good ones. Then the feeling he gets because she likes him for him (" but what she sees/is that i cant live with out her/my arms belong arround her/and im so glad i found her once again/i found her once again/once again/yeah im so glad i found her once again.") is so overwhelming that he says it like 5 times. This is what human beings want, need, and strive for. Having it somewhere where these guys can sing about just signifies the importance. We want someone to accept us by understanding our idiosyncrasies and still love us even after discovering them. I mean there are like a million other songs out there that have a similair message, but this one just hit me like a brick wall. The simple phrase of she likes me for me just puts it in such relatable and understandable terms that any human being can relate to. Nobody really wants to hide themselves, they may do it because of that strong penchant towards acceptance (my main point), but to be able to be accepted for our true selves is ideal (what human beings stive for). There is definetely people that push for acceptance through negative terms, and this point can't be ignored. I believe human beings are born innocent, are naturally good but through their journey in life, humans can often take a detour down a path frowned upon in society, because human beings often have a strong inclination to enter an easier path which is often "evil," but they do because of their desire for acceptance and the easier it is to reach it the more likely they are going to go down that path. An easy path of acceptance, like drugs, sex, and violence overcomes human beings and the strive for acceptance pushes people down this path. I feel like I better understand what I am arguing right now, but I have so much thinking to do.

"She Like's Me For Me" Lyrics: 3rd Eye Blind

2008-04-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

she dont care about my car,
and she dont care about my money,
and thats real good cuz i dont got a lot to spend,
but if i did it would mean nothing.

She likes me for me,
not because i look like tyson bedford,
with the charm of robert redford,
unsing out my ears,what she sees,
are my most rending desisions,
my insecure conditions,
and the tears upon the pillow that i shed.

she don't care about my big screen,
or my collection of dvds,
things like that just never mattered much to her,
plus she don't watch too much tv.

she dont care that i could fly her,
to places she aint never been,
if she really wants to go,
i think deep down she knows that,
all she has to say is when.

she likes me for me,
not because i hang with leonardo,
or that guy who played in fargo,
i think his name was steve.

shes the one for me,
and i just cant live without her,
my arms belong around her,
and im so glad i found her once again,
and im so glad i found her once again,
yeah im so glad i found her once again.

gazing at the ceiling,
as we entertain our feelings in the dark,
things that we're afraid of,
are gonna show us what we're made of in the end.

she likes me for me,
not because i sing like pavarotti,
or because im such a hottie.(sigh)

i like her for her,
not because shes phat like cindy crawford,
she has got so much to offer,
why does she waste all her time with me?
there must be something there that i don't see,
i don't see.

she likes me for me,
not because im tough like dirty harry,
make her laugh just like jim carrey,
im like the cable guy,
but what she sees,
is that i cant live with out her,
my arms belong arround her,
and im so glad i found her once again,
i found her once again,
once again,
yeah im so glad i found her once again.

5th Entry

2008-04-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

Human being's crave acceptance. High school (prime example of the strive for acceptance where often times people lose themselves in the process) shows people finding themselves, somewhere where they feel accepted. Religion, love, school, sports are just many examples of acceptance humans search for when living. The acceptance I am thinking of isn't just one type of acceptance, like being accepted into the popular group like in all those movies (like Can't Buy Me Love with Patrick Dempsey when he payed a popular girl to go out with him for a month so he could become popular), but I think from personal experience that once you surpass inner turmoil in a quest for the supreme acceptance popularized in movies, books, and songs are you able to live life to its fullest. Finding your niche, somewhere you feel comfortable and a part of, is what I feel is acceptance. It's so easy to use high school with acceptance, because it's like a microcosim of different types of people placed in one single place during awkward stages of trying to find ones selve. This is why I think we have the term best friend, because they are the one closest to you and they do not have any other friend closer. It is like finding someone to listen, talk, and understand during difficult times. This type of acceptance creates a sense of security because there is always someone more special to you than anyone else. The people who don't find acceptance, often times called the loners, are looked upon with sympathy, indifference, or even an urge to comment. Why is it that even though most everyone knows what it feels like one time in their life to feel unaccepted that we don't approach this person? Why do we make it difficult for others to find acceptance. I have been on both sides of the issue, the one left out and the one making someone feel left out. It's like I have the feeling from being unaccepted to make it sure that another person is the one being left out and not allowing me to be the one. It seems like we are scared to with insecurity that it should be as or even more difficult for them to feel accepted. It's like we look at them and think I'm glad that's not me, rather then let me make him feel accepted. There are a few people that ignore the first response and utilize the second, but I question their ability to do it everytime. Why is it so hard to set down from our comfortable seat in the position with others we have obtained and sit in the place of someone less desirable? I feel a pain of guilt when I see someone sitting at lunch alone, but I rarely do anything about it. My conscience sticks with me, and I generally remember it for a really long time and I know it will if I don't do anything, but I still don't do anything. With acceptance being difficult to obtain, human beings try to grip onto it for dear life. Finding something or someone that accepts you for you is one of the best feelings possible.

This is the weirdest thing, as I am writing this I am listening to a cd a friend burned and a song called "She Likes Me For Me" by Third Eye Blind came on. I was humming it because it is one of those songs you have heard in the past and know the lyrics, it's like reliving memories, so I start singing and it hits me, these lyrics are perfect. Like as I was typing the last sentence of the last paragraph I am listening to him tell all his flaws, but she likes him for him. I'm going to post the lyrics because they are just so perfect for my point; a modern interpretation of human nature shown through a 90's rock band.

4th Entry

2008-04-19T07:45:00.001-07:00

I was going through my shuffle on my iPod, and just got caught up in the lyrics. It seemed like the songs I stopped on, and didn't hit next right away, had a reoccuring theme of acceptance, n many different forms. One song that stuck out in my mind was off of a new album by Marie Digby (the girl discovered on Youtube) that I really hadn't had the chance to listen to yet. The song is called "Miss Invisible," and it just made me feel weird and upset. Like it was an extreme version of being left out, feeling completely alone, going through school where she is unnoticed and eats lunch under the bleachers, which is some freshman's greatest fear when coming to high school. You know when you are searching for some of your friends in your lunch so you have someone to sit with and don't feel stupid and alone. So the song goes on about her feeling alone and trying to fit in, but then a random usual day a boy sits with her under the bleachers. I felt as if this is the prime example of my point of acceptance. Wanting someone to go through the same things you have to go through and understand what you are going through. The girl just wants a boy by her side, some campionship. Before the boy came, she was desperately seeking acceptance from her peers, wanting them to like her, but then incidents like falling down the stairs (which everyone has experienced) made her feel like an outcast.
After thinking about her semi-happy ending I started thinking about the other kids that made her feel so unaccepted that she had to eat her lunch under the bleachers. Is it in human nature to make people feel unaccepted? You know when you see someone alone and feel like you should talk to them but you feel too awkward to. Why is it so hard to help people feel accepted, especially when everyone wants to feel accepted in some way? Do we make it difficult for others to feel accepted because it was something we had to work for or are still working on? Is acceptance something we cherish and are hesitant to give it to others? Acceptance is something really important to us, and it's like every song has some form of yearning, fufillment, or search for acceptance. I'm still trying to think of what I am trying to say about acceptance, but I am just going to listen to some more music and think about it.

3rd Entry

2008-04-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

Kindness is a value revered by our society. Something that most strive for and want to recieve when interacting with other human beings. Take for example, The Golden Rule, do onto others what you would want others to do to you, or something like that. It pretty much means treat people with the respect and kindness you want to recieve for yourself. This rule has passed the test of time, and still endures. Even with corruption from exterior influences, like the media, violence, and the exposure of sex from the masses, the underlying values of human nature persists and continue to be preached about from various sources. There is a natural tendency to endure various forms of corruption, to be exposed or have a penchant for when living life in the world we were placed on, with how we got here is often questioned. We all know people in our lives that we do not appreciate, not our favorite people in the world, and feel as if they have no kind bone in their body. These are the people that put human nature into question with good prevailing over evil, but then when we contemplate their satisfaction that they are able to obtain within themselves is limited. I believe that without good and kindness in your life, a human being is left with a cold and brittle shell that could have been used for good for themselves and others around them. Kindness creates that happy feeling in your life that creates a smile on your face that you have to work to get rid of. There are different shades of happiness in different people's lives, but happiness is a key factor in my life that I often take for granted when I have recieved or given off some.

2nd Entry

2008-04-17T16:44:00.000-07:00

Epicurean Philosophy- I learned about this type of philosophy in Latin and took interest in it where the main purpose in life is to be happy where it is focused on avoiding pain.

Another thing I have been thinking about is how humans are sometimes never content, and always want something more. It's like you can never be rich enough, loved enough, or happy enough. Some philosophy I found supported this questioning:
1.) Arthur Schopehaurer: "Everything is full of desire and never is fully satisfied. There's a sense of futility in the way our will keeps trying to have its way, obly to find it can't, or to find that wjay it thought it wanted was really what it wanted after all; we can't choose what to will; our will chooss for us) My Interpreation: Humans feel like they have to have something which is often times out of reach or really isn't what they need to make them feel satisified.
2.) John Stuart Mill (the most important of Utilitarian Philosophers)
-Utilitarian: the view that any action is good if it leads to human happiness and bad if it stands in the way of human happiness; human actions are not inevitable; believed all things have causes but also said that all human beings have free will
3.) Men Tzu:
-Every human being is good hence it man maintains his original nature, it will remain good
-If a man allows the desire for personal gain to overcome his rightousness- his sense of social obligations- he also perverts his nature
-Any person who practices the principles of humanity and righteousness with sincerity radiates the spirtual influence of the universe
4.) Epictetus:
-the good life is a life of inner traquilty which comes from conforming to nature- to reason and truth
-to achieve the good life a man must master his desires, perform his duties, and think correctly cornerning himself and the world
-to master desire one has only to bring desire to the level of facts; only what is within a man's power should be of concern to him

I believe that human being's have the nature of being born innocent, but it is in human nature to allow corruption into our lives or corruption to be forced upon us from others which makes us evolve due to the corruption.

1st Entry

2008-04-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've been sketching a lot about these prompts, pages and pages in my sketchbook but this is my first time blogging. It seems like I was drawn to the second prompt, the one about human nature. Ever since the reading response for The Lord of the Flies, I have been thinking about human nature a lot. The one thing that stuck in my mind was acceptance. It seems like everyone wants to be accepted. It's like every song on the radio has to deal with some aspect of acceptance (a lack or yearn for). My thinking came from the feeling that people all want to be accepted in some form for what they truely are. We all want to be accepted even with our flaws and imperfections; it would also feel great to be loved for our imperfections. . I felt as if humans wanted to feel a part of something, even if it was a negative source, and feel welcome in this something. Acceptance can come from love, friendship, companionship, family, etc. and how people can spend their whole entire lives searching for acceptance. I thought about teenagers, and all the things parents preach about, and that was our push for acceptance in high school. The dangers of peer pressure to try to fit in was kind of was stuck in my mind. Conforming in high school to try to fit in seems like a constant theme in all those health movies. Components like friendship, understanding, and love all seem to be directly related to acceptance, where if you lose one of the components you do not feel accepted. Loneliness comes from not being accepted and feeling alone in the world with no one that can truly feel the way you feel at that time.